there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
