No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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