If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
