I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Come see our sink grown plant.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
