It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
