it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
