I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
