I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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