Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I could make wine with my vomit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
