I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
