Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
