I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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