A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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