Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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