two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
