Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
