yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
