He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
