she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
