this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
