You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
