I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
