the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
