the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
