Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
