i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
