I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Two words: nipple clamps
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