he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
