I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
