he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
