I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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