I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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