i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
