Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
