you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
