Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize