So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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