high people should be assigned attendants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
MIDGETS
????
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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