Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i would punch a child for taco bell
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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