My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
