dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
