are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
