I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
