Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
