I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
