Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Are we still banned from the library?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
