Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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