the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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