Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
