I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
