YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
